COCAINE BEAR

You’ve probably heard of the feature film, Cocaine Bear, released by Universal Pictures in 2023. Well, Kentucky for Kentucky actually owns the trademark on the original name, story, and character. They licensed it to Universal, which is how that movie was able to be made.

Since Kentucky for Kentucky still holds the rights to Cocaine Bear, they hired me to assist in developing scripts for an animated series based on the character. I wrote a bunch of .60 and .30 short animated scripts geared towards social media, co-wrote an animated series treatment, and did demo VO work. They used those materials to shop the project around to various production companies.

This is still an ongoing project, and i’m proud of the work I did on the character. See below.

That’s my guy. Mr Bear.

SCRIPT SAMPLES

TITLE CARD - COCAINE BEAR

EPISODE - APEX PREDATOR

CB - Yeah so at this point everyone knows my story. Normal bear, in the woods, finds big bag of drugs, eat bag, goes down in history.

CB - But I don’t think people really understand what that meant for a bear to do that.

CB - For about 45 minutes I was probably, in my estimation, the greatest apex predator on planet earth. 

CB - But no one talks about that. So now I’m talking about it.

CB - Shark?! Done. Easily done. I would have punched it in the nose, and then while it’s confused goin “what the heck whoa whoa” I would bonk it on the back with my bear claw, invert it’s fin, and Stab that thing from the inside. Hypothetically of course.

CB - Gorilla?! Not even a chance. I’d sit that gorilla down for a game of chess. Unless you’re King Kong, you’re goin down. You think you’re so smart cause you’re a primate?! Check mate in 4 moves. I’m woulda turned them into a cry mate.

CB - Last but not least, a wildcat. You may have a team, but I’m from the forest, you don’t know nothing about that. If I would have seen a wildcat, they’ll open their mouth to bite me, then BOOM they’re gettin a bear claw punch to the throat. Then while they’re wondering what’s goin on, I’m using speed never glimpsed on this earth and just bonk bonk bonkin em on the head till they pass away.

CB - Only animal I could not take is a cardinal. Honestly I’m very scared of them. I don’t trust em. Everyone thinks they’re so innocent but I know they’re hiding something. 

CB - But just because I don’t do that stuff anymore, doesn’t mean I still couldn’t take em down. I’ve still got it in me. 

TITLE CARD - COCAINE BEAR

EPISODE - SIDE EFFECTS

CB - A lot people think my life is easy cause now I’m famous after I ate all that yayo. But that’s not the case. My life is actually pretty hard sometimes.

CB - After the “incident” I started noticing I had all these unintended side effects.

CB - For example, my hibernation schedule is all messed up now. Everyone makes fun of me but it’s an actual real condition, I’m a “reverse hibernation now”

CB - It’s not funny. Now I’m always asleep in the summer and awake all winter. It sucks. All my friends are asleep and I’m out there sticking my claws into the ice to get a snack.

CB - take a guess where the fish are during the winter. They ain’t at the top, they’re at the bottom!! Where it’s warm!! So now I gotta take a cold plunge anytime I wanna get lunch. There ain’t no door dash for bears.

CB - The other problem is now that I’m asleep while my friends are awake, I miss everything. Tabitha the groundhog has amazing themed birthday parties but guess what?! I can’t go cause I’m snoozing. Last year she had one 80s themed and that would have been perfect for me.

CB - Also, anytime I do try to catch salmon, my hand eye coordination is way off. I look like an idiot out there fumbling the fish around like ______ (Kentucky related football reference)

CB - All I’m sayin is everyone sees the fame and stuff, but they don’t know that deep down I have feelings and I hurt. But… the fame is pretty good through.

TITLE CARD - COCAINE BEAR

EPISODE - GOBLINS

CB - Everyone in Kentucky has heard the tale of the Hopkinsville Goblins. You know, little aliens that came down and terrorized a farm. Made big news. Not as big as me of course… but big still.

CB - It’s always goblins this and goblins that oh wow they’re so cool I wonder where they went. Well guess what, I know where they went and they actually aren’t that cool. They’re little weirdo ducks. And they’re stuck up.

CB - They never left. They took they’re weird little ship and parked it in the forest, blocking all kinds of forest traffic, and made it invisible. 

CB - Then all the forest animals thought they were sooooo cool, and they started having little raves cause apparently everyone on their planet is a DJ for some reason. Everyone got invited… besides me.

CB - When they first got here, I tried to tell ‘em how important and famous I was, I said “do you know who I am?!?” and they just ignored me and kept playing fortnite on their ship computer while drinking energy drinks. They’re like if 15 year old boys were aliens. Weirdos. 

CB - Now they don’t invite me to their raves, even though I’m way more famous than them. Makes no sense. 

CB - So anyways, yeah everyone thinks the hopkinsville goblins are cool, but they’re actually weird little dorks whose EDM music sucks. I can say that cause I’m also a DJ, prob one of the best in the world. And I’m gunna start my own forest rave. Without them. And it doesn’t bother me. Like, at all.